Healing

CLEAN CUT

Cord-cutting is one of the most powerful actions you can take on your own behalf.

There is powerful magick in consciously releasing anything that holds you back, holds you down, or simply digs its claws in so you’re constantly aware of its presence. Tear it free and let it go. Free yourself. Empower yourself.

There are many ways to cut cords. There are physical rituals you can do, to allow yourself to witness something tangible to represent the spiritual separation you crave. You can pray, asking Divinity to release you from the hold of what doesn’t serve you. You can visit a practitioner you trust, to step in on your behalf and remove all that binds you.

It’s important to remember that there is no “one way” to do this. There is no “one way” to let go. There never has been. There never will be. Everything is released in whatever way your soul needs in that situation. Convincing yourself that there’s only one way to do it and do it successfully does a disservice to you and all that you’re capable of.

There is absolutely power in finding what works best for you. Having tried and true methods of doing things (even magickal things) can serve you well when it resonates with your spirit. Where you begin to limit yourself is when your faith in your methods turns into the belief that it’s those methods or nothing. Convincing yourself, even subconsciously or unintentionally, that you can only release people, situations and beliefs in one way, and if it doesn’t work, something’s wrong or there’s still work to be done before release can occur, limits your power. And believing that the persisting presence of what grips you means there’s still lessons to be learned, may be true, but it may also mean draining more of your own energy into something that’s ready to go but can’t leave because you think there’s only one exit.

When you decide that there’s only one way to let something go, you cut off a thousand other avenues to your desired outcome instead of cutting the cord itself.

You have to be open to Spirit and the divine guidance it whispers to you, always. If your tried and true method of releasing doesn’t seem to be working, don’t punish yourself by assuming the situation needs more energy you aren’t willing to give. Go within and reach out.

“Spirit, tell me what I need. Spirit, show me what to do.”

It can be that simple. And as we know, simple can be pretty fucking profound.

I have cut many cords in my life, for many reasons. And a lot of them were a lot harder and took a lot longer than they needed to. I’m not giving you advice on being open to how to release something just because I think it’s helpful knowledge – I know firsthand the time one can lose to unnerving beliefs that never should’ve existed in the first place.

But we live, and we learn. And I’m passing on what I’ve learned so you might have a chance at finding peace sooner than I did (actually as I write this, I’m fully aware that this is why I do everything that I do through The Corvus Circle: to give you more time with the peace you deserve).

Story time.

Many times in past years, I’ve tried to cut cords with some people, and one person in particular, that had enormous negative impact on my life. The kind of negative impact that haunts me, wondering who I might’ve been without it, what I could’ve accomplished, risen to, witnessed.

But then I wouldn’t be here with your lovely soul, would I?

Needless to say, for many reasons, I was desperate for release. I performed rituals, prayed to the Goddess, prayed to Divinity in other, darker forms. Just leave me alone, I begged. And sometimes there was a taste of relief. This time I’m done, I would think.

But then, weeks later, a little while later, or even an hour later, my mind would spiral back to self-destructive thoughts of what was taken from me, of what I’ll never get back, and how powerless I’d felt at the time. How angry I was. How very angry I still was. And none of this served me. I say self-destructive because holding onto those emotions and filtered memories has nothing to do with those people anymore, and everything to do with my inability to just fucking let them go.

After years of bombarding thoughts, jarring memories, and vivid nightmares, enough was enough.

It was time.

Laying in bed next to my partner, who’s loved me more than I ever imagined myself worthy, I couldn’t sleep. I wanted to sleep, I was exhausted, but my mind refused to quiet. And as many spirals lead to, I found myself watching the same memories flickering against the screen of my consciousness, reminding me of things I couldn’t change, people I could never hurt as they’d hurt me, and a time I’d give anything to forget.

My heart was tired.

Why are you still here? Why won’t you leave me alone? The familiar need to cut the cord arose in me. I briefly entertained the logical and plausible solution of quietly going to my altar and performing a cord cutting ritual I knew and appreciated, but the thought passed quickly.

No. This needed to happen now. Here. In this moment. With no tools but my own will and the searing love for myself that I had fought so hard to bring to life.

I closed my eyes, and I called up all the energy of what I was cutting out of me. And instead of getting angry at what was there, I held myself. I poured love into myself. I gave my faith and protection over to the version of me that was still trapped in those memories, and I let it drown the fire inside her until it fell from her eyes. Until we both felt peace begin to settle in like a comforting, country morning fog.

And then I looked her monster in the eye, and declared for both of us, for all of us, I release you, and all ties you have on me. It’s enough now. Enough.

And I felt the cord cut.

And I slept.

I released all attachment to the outcome of what I’d done (as one should), and the next night, something incredible happened.

I had a dream.

A vivid, dark, subconscious revelation of a dream, that taught me more than I ever could’ve expected.

In the Gotham-esque setting of my mind, I found myself face-to-face with the person I’d carried the most anger toward. They were speaking to me and everything about them was familiar, and I still had no desire to be around them or their energy. But I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t getting frustrated at the dream, wondering why they were still haunting me, after everything, after all this time. Instead, I felt completely separate from them, and as the dream progressed, I could feel them realizing the connection we’d once had, however bitter it had grown, simply was not there.

The part of the dream that surprised me most, was when they cried.

Something in them cracked, and they wept for the state of what we’d become. They wept for the time we’d lost, and how we hadn’t appreciated the potential of what we’d shared when we’d had it, and they lamented what had happened, and where we had ended up, wasting so much time hating each other when both of us were hurt.

I was surprised to witness this emotion from them, this admission of guilt, this desire for things to have been different, and the unshakable knowledge that they weren’t, and could never be.

When I woke up in the morning, I felt different.

I felt lighter. Softer.

Free.

I held no illusions that what I’d witnessed in my dream could ever have occurred in reality. I knew the opening of the other person, and the release I witnessed in them would never happen. But it didn’t matter anymore.

Spirit had brought me the closure that I had so desperately sought in all the wrong actions for so many years. I would never receive the validation I deserved, or the karmic satisfaction I’d believed was my right. But I didn’t need it anymore.

I had finally loved myself enough to let it be done.

And Spirit rewarded me with the experience of my anger finding peace, in a way I would never have been able to find without surrendering so completely and wholly as I had that night, praying for liberation in the dark.

It was over.

It’s finally over.

Release what’s familiar. Surrender to Spirit. Be open to whatever form emancipation needs to take.

Believe me when I tell you, the peace will be worth it, every time.

Let go, little wildling.

And when you don’t know how, ask for help.

And let help come.

You’ve got this.

SATES - What the Cat Told the Raven

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