I was taught that I’m stupid. That I’m slow. That I need to work hard to be considered beautiful. That I have to earn attention and praise. That my worth is determined by the standards set for me by the people around me; the people who see themselves as “above” me. The ones I’m supposed to be inspired by and wish to emulate.
The people in my life would all adamantly refuse to admit this now, and teaching me that I’m stupid, slow and unworthy wasn’t their intention, but it was the lesson all the same. It took me three decades to realize that just because these were the roles they had chosen for me, that didn’t mean I was meant, destined, or required to play them.
I am not required to fit into the box set out for me. I am not required to fit into the mold designed for me. I am not required to play the part that has been dictated to me. I am not required to shrink myself to hide in someone else’s comfort zone.
I know this now, because I have been blessed with a powerful knowledge, an immovable truth: I am MORE.
I am more than external standards. I am more than predetermined roles. I am more than the box I keep being pushed into.
I’m blowing the lid off their collection of expectations and setting fire to the whole fucking thing.
I have been through painful hell, the darkest depths, the most suffocating maelstroms, and I have dragged myself out.
Every. Single. Time.
I have proven over, and over, and over again, that I am not small, I am not weak, and I am capable of far more than I’ve ever been told to believe. I pulled myself from every fire ever set upon me, and even danced in the ashes of some.
Not only have I earned the right to lift my chin in defiance of the “plan” I was expected to submit to, but in truth, it’s been my right to hold my head high from my very first breath.
Why do I feel it’s so important to tell you this?
Because that right has always been yours as well, my dear.
If you have ever felt that no matter how hard you try, no matter how many steps you take, mountains you climb, battles you conquer, no matter how many times you get back up, you’re still not any further along your path, still not “worthy” of the validation you’re so desperately chasing, I beg of you, lovingly, to ask yourself:
What do you believe is required of you?
Where did this belief come from?
Was it ever yours to begin with?
What are you chasing, my love? Does it still feel worth it?
Because let me tell you this: far greater than what’s been expected of you, is your connection to yourself. And if you’re chasing someone else’s dream for you, you’re more connected to their expectations than your own spirit. And that will drain you, every single time.
That’s why your heart is tired of trying. That’s why the anxiety and heaviness never really seem to disappear.
That’s why no matter how many “aha!” moments, no matter how many inspiring quotes, no matter how many techniques you “master”, you always find yourself back in the same place; in those same feelings of inadequacy. Of unworthiness.
So let me beg you: stop letting anyone or anything outside of you decide your self worth. That measure is yours and yours alone to decide. Understand which parts of you radiate with love for who you are, and which parts were designed, dictated, and expected for you. Stop carrying the weight of others’ influence. Release that shroud, that heavy, suffocating net that holds you trapped. Tear it from your body. Set it on fire if you have to.
Free yourself, any way you can.
You have wings to spread, skies to take, stars to kiss.
Leave what you’ve destroyed at the feet of those who chained you – lovingly, if you can. You are greater, stronger, and wiser, than you can even begin to imagine. You will set the example of truth, love and freedom by stepping into your power and claiming it as your own. Let them watch you soar. Or roar. Or both.
You are limitless. Act like it.
Never abandon yourself because someone else told you to, ever again.
Never let anyone force you to shrink to fit what they desire of you.
You are infinite.
Never forget that again.
Straightening your crown,
Witch, Writer, and Wild Heart, Sates has been making magick and seeking Spirit for over two decades. She is the creator of The Corvus Circle, a spiritual movement to rekindle our primal relationship with Mother Earth and Her unyielding love.